So, I recently turned 50. After getting over the hump of 45, I looked forward to 50. Who knew the actual day would be a roller coaster?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful to see another year and it was a good day, but for some reason I thought I’d jump out of an airplane, take an exotic trip, do something exciting, ya know? Although, I never told anyone my thoughts, I figured someone would be a mind reader. Go figure.
Two weeks before the big day, I had my annual mammogram and the doctor saw “something.” This had happened to me a few years ago so it wasn’t a total blow to the psyche, but they needed to take a second look, again. The first available appointment was on my birthday, March 15. I took it. Why wait?
No need to prolong the agony. If I found out bad news before or after my birthday, it still would’ve been hanging over my head, so do it and get the answer, right?
The day started with an ultrasound and then another mammogram.
Yeah, ultrasound of the ta-tas. OH EM GEE, that was very uncomfortable. Then came the second mammogram.
WORST. MAMMOGRAM. EVER.
I thought it was going to rip right off my body! I mean how flat can you make a breast? How hard can you press it before the woman passes out? How brutal and inhumane can you treat a woman? When you’re a full-figured woman, it’s hard. I’m sure its hard for everyone but the bigger, the thicker…well, you get the picture, right?
After an hour of grueling pain and puzzled looks from technicians who needed to consult someone else, the expert who’s over the “experts” walked into the room and said all was well, sorry to ruin my birthday but they liked to be extra sure.
They would see me in 1 year.