Being a wife and a mom at the same time is taxing enough, but being a MOM when DAD is out of the state or country has its own special challenges. Below is a list of THANGS that have gone wrong in the Robinson household while I was on solo watch. (Yes, thangs!)
- I was locked out of the house because the garage keypad died. How did that happen? Well, there was NO KEY for the front door. If there had been a key, the glass storm door would’ve been locked and the key would’ve been useless. Our sliding glass patio door in the basement didn’t have a key either and the sliding glass deck door didn’t have a key. So, I was locked out of my own freaking house in the elements in South Dakota. (Brrrrr) I franticly searched for a locksmith on my phone from my car and patiently waited for someone to come let me in my own house! So, yeah… there’s that.
- A child broke a dining room chair. How did it happen? Who was jumping on the chair? What were you doing prior to the chair “breaking?” Like most parents, no one wants stuff broken and, in our house, we especially don’t want to hear the lecture we knew would come from Mr. Robinson. I work hard to have bla bla bla. I didn’t want to hear it and neither did the kids. But why was the leg to the dining room chair broken? And why was I, as a grown woman, having anxiety like I broke it? Ugh. Who was jumping off the chair? Did one of you walk past and the leg just fell from under the chair? Did you push the chair too hard? Help me to understand. You know what though? Mister didn’t find out about that chair until we were about to move ,which would’ve been about 6 months later!
- A hamster was missing. Why did we even have a freaking hamster in the first place? After we sold Buttercup, the guinea pig, what possessed me to say yes to a freaking fat mouse with no tail? See, what had happened was I heard this loud scream. I’d just stepped out of the shower and was drying myself. I heard this long MAAAA come from the boy’s room. I said to myself, I don’t know what’s going on out there but I’m naked, dripping wet and I’m not leaving this bathroom. I continued to dry myself. Then I heard it again, “MAAAA!” I remained silent. “MAAAA!” I was still drying off with plans to moisturize before putting on a stitch of clothing. “MAAAA!” By this time, I figured something must be up.
“MAAAA!” It was as if he was stuck and the only thing he could say was MAAAA! The last MAAA sounded kinda cryptic so I, ran out of my bathroom, through my bedroom and to my son’s room completely naked and still partially wet. He stood there, pointing at a heap of clothes on the floor and there on top of the clothes was Teddy, the stupid missing hamster! Oh my goodness! This rodent wasn’t dead inside the walls of our home after all. It was there, two floors above where it should’ve been secured in the hamster habitat thingy my daughter had designed for him. Do you know how humiliating it is to be chasing after a rodent, naked, in your young son’s room? Teddy was captured. I was humiliated. The boy got over his shock. Teddy found a new home a short time later after another unsuspecting sucker-mom saw my ad in the local buy/sell flyer.
- The garage door opener thingy gave up the ghost. It was time to go to work. Like a lot of people, I was rushing to get out of the house and pushed the button on the wall when I walked into the garage. NOTHING HAPPENED. What the what? Push, push, push. Oh well. I thought maybe there was something electrical going on. I pushed the button on the remote in the car. Nope, that didn’t work either and I couldn’t lift the heavy double garage door because everyone else was already gone and it was too heavy. I also couldn’t position the car to drive across the garage to potentially back out the single car stall. It certainly was a nerve-wrecking way to start a day.
- My daughter called and said she couldn’t turn the steering wheel. Huh? Whatchu mean you can’t turn the steering wheel? Sure enough, as she was trying to turn into a parking space at school, the steering gave up the ghost and she was stuck mid-turn and blocking traffic in the parking lot. Mercy.
- DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE IN CHARGE OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING AND NOT LOSE YOUR SH*T WHEN THINGS GO WRONG?