With great anticipation, we all counted down to at 11:59 pm to welcome a new decade. Cheers to new beginnings, new adventures, new everything just like every New Year’s Eve. Ironically, just after the new year began, word started spreading of this novel corona virus and if you were like me, you watched the news coverage of what was happening at the time in China and thought: Wow, I wonder if that could EVER happen here?
Fast forward to year end which is December 1, the date of this writing and there has been so much loss, tragedy, hurt, pain, etc.
I am so damn tired.
I sometimes say I am an introverted extrovert. I can do both. I spent the first 10 years as an only child, so yeah, I can take people or leave them. However, this year has caused me to reevaluate/reexamine a lot of things. This year I realized no matter how much I love my family and our new home, I am sick of being with my family in this house. Not being rude or mean but I strongly believe they feel the same way some days.
This year has brought out the best and worst of this country and I’m so fed up. I feel so helpless. I feel lonely. I feel angry. I have had enough of:
- BS from anti-maskers
- People asking if I’ve personally known someone who had the virus
- Standing 6 feet behind people in small spaces
- Ordering ALL meals as take out
- Going to buy groceries EVERY week if not TWICE weekly because we’re eating every freaking meal at home
- Getting out of the car and walking to the door of a building only to realize I’m not wearing a mask. (It’s still NOT second nature to me.)
- Attending all events virtually
As the title suggests, this is the year of the Upside Down. I say it so much in my house, my daughter has asked me to stop saying it. I can’t and I won’t. The Upside Down is a reference from the Netflix show, Stranger Things. The Upside Down can best be described as an alternate universe. It looks the same but there’s something unusually different about it. The only thing that’s missing is a spaceship or weird cloud hovering over the entire world to let us know something other worldly is happening.
How can it be December 2020 and nothing good has come out of the year? (I don’t mean that literally.) I was keeping a list of all the crazy stuff that’s happened this year but it got depressing so I stopped. One day, hopefully, in the very near future we will be able to look back on 2020 and give it a big middle finger. I can’t say we can look back on it with fond memories because there’s nothing happy about this year at all.
Until now, 1995 had been the worst year of my life due to a tragic loss. The feeling of despair this year far exceeds that.
Who would have OR could have imagined so much tragedy and loss in such a short period of time? (Of course I or we all could point some fingers but…)
How are you doing?
Just rambling today but I mean every word.
Wear a mask.
This year is almost over. Surely there’s a new day on the horizon. Hit me back in the comments.
Daphine (rhymes with caffeine!)
Upside Down. Yes, that’s a good description of 2020. My upside down actually began a bit sooner, in June 2019 when my best friend moved away. And it just kept going into 2020.
There is the constant fear of coming down with Covid, so that even a trip out to run an errand is fraught with danger. But more than being afraid for myself, I’m afraid for my loved ones. You never know who will succomb to the disease.
The hardest part for me, in addition to that near-constant fear, is the isolation. I miss my friend. I miss my sister. I miss my nephew and nieces and their families. I miss Texas Roadhouse! And our local Mexican restaurant. I MISS PEOPLE!!
I’ve had some bright spots in the year, though. My great-niece spends a lot of time with me because of her parents’ work schedules and her attending online school. Love, love, love having her here!
So please 2021, hurry and get here! January 21st will be the start of a return to normalcy. I hope it’s all looking up from there.
Love you, friend, and love your writing!! You have the ability to put things in a way that’s very insightful. Call me! ❤😊
Hey, YOU! Your bestie moved away? Bummer! She mustv’e had a really good reason. 🙂 Yes, the isolation is rough on all of us AND I do miss you, too. Thanks for reading.
I absolutely get this. I really do. This year has been indescribably challenging. I have lost several family and friends to this Virus. I am weary of arguing with people about the realness of it. Whatever it is, however it got here IT’S KILLING PEOPLE. And let’s not forget all of the Police Brutality and Abuse of Power that this year has shined a light on. It’s just been way too much.
I am tired.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey, Sis! We’re tired together. It feels like we’re in a limbo portal and there’s an adversary throwing all kinds of stuff at us to see how we react.