My brain is always going and I get inspiration for stories and blog posts all the time. I love the notes app on my phone for those moments when something could turn into future material. Having said that, I finally have enough material for an entry that started a while back called A few things that irritate me:
- Going to the bathroom only to find an empty cardboard tube on the roll. People who use the last bit of toilet paper should be severely punished.
- Bird poop on a car. I don’t care if it is old and starting to rust. That is very disrespectful. #NastyPigeons
- LOL, ROTFL, SMDH. I use LOL when I actually laughed out loud at a comment or ROTFL if it was so funny I actually hurt my stomach laughing and tears came out of my eyes. The overuse of these acronyms irritates me. SMDH leaves me to ask the question, why does your head have to be a damned head? Why can’t it just be SMH because you read a comment and thought that was stupid or what an idiot? SMDH implies you’ve doomed yourself to damnation, particularly your head. LOL!
- Port-a-Johns/Potties. These are some of the nastiest places on earth. The thought of putting my “stuff” on top of other people’s “stuff” feels creepy. Every time I’m forced to use one, I feel like I’ve left a germ-free zone and entered a cesspool of every bacteria known to man. I particularly hate Port-a-Johns at food festivals. Let your mind marinate on that for a minute. Ewwww.
- Audience tambourine players. If you read Too Many Lies, you know how I feel about that. If you didn’t, well, now’s a good time to download a copy. Okay, my thing is if you want to contribute to the music, play a real instrument where you actually learn notes, go to Saturday rehearsal and get in the band with the rest of the musicians. Don’t disturb my praise by clanging that thing in my ear. (You should still read Too Many Lies so you can see how I worked that into a scene.)
- Aspiring writers who try to tell me how to write at MY events. Notice I said
aspiring. I recently had a man try to challenge me about writing fiction because his books are based on facts because I write nonfiction and I’m a PhD. My x-ray glare told him to get away from my table.
- People who ride mopeds on sidewalks. If I’m getting my jog/walk on to some Flo Rida, I don’t want to have a WTH moment because you zoomed past me on a freaking moped. Yeah, I used an acronym. In this instance, it doesn’t irritate me. LOL
- When people say I don’t see how you eat that. Like this…**Opens mouth and inserts big mouthful of Quinoa.**
- People who spell congratulations with a d. It’s not congradulations, it’s congratulations. I will congratulate you when you learn the correct spelling of congratulations.
- Facebook posts and text messages that read like this: he called me last night he is so funny we talked for a long time and i fell asleep on the phone were going to see a movie tonight i hope i can pick it out because he likes stupid movies
- People who try to sell me products when I’m selling MY own stuff at large events. If I’ve paid upwards of $250 to buy a table to sell MY books, I’ll gladly take your card/flyer and possibly make a future purchase, but I don’t want to buy no purses, body butters, jewelry or other holistic products. I’m trying to make money back that I spent on transportation, lodging and my own products—not spend it on yours. No, I do not feel guilty for NOT buying something because your booth or table is across from mine.
- The price of toilet paper and trash bags. It’s all going to the dump, literally. Why does it have to be so doggone expensive?
- Asking someone to take my picture and it comes out looking like the picture above on the right. Ugh! Obviously I was NOT ready. Why take this picture and hand the camera back to me? (This actually happened. The picture was not staged.)
Whew! There, I said it. More than a few things irritate me, huh?
What irritates you?
Peace, I’m out.