Excerpt from Mommy Moments
Copyright © 2011 by Daphine Glenn Robinson

Alone at Last

Sometimes, when nature calls, I hold, and hold, and hold until I just can’t hold any longer. As you’ve read, I’m pretty darn busy. Oftentimes, those few moments alone in the bathroom can be the children’s saving grace, as I petition God to give me the strength to be their mother and not do what I sometimes feel like doing to them. I really don’t want them sitting in front of a therapist when they’re 35 years old, telling horror stories of their childhood.

One day after arriving home from a long day, I needed to retreat to my safe haven, even though our new puppy was running loose inside the house. Ordinarily, as long as Andrew is awake, the puppy can’t run freely. Someone will end up hurt, and it won’t be Andrew.

However, I needed to go, as nature didn’t care who was running loose in the house. Since she called, I had to answer. I made the announcement that I was going into the bathroom for a minute, to which I got the melodic, “Okay, Mommy.” Victoria was watching her all-time favorite cartoon, Sponge Bob, and quietly spoiling the puppy. Andrew was nearby playing with his toys.

I had just taken my seat when I heard a heavy thud come from the other side of the wall. Immediately, I thought Andrew had fallen off something, which wouldn’t be unusual, so I got up as fast as I could to see what had happened. Victoria, unfazed, was still watching Sponge Bob, and Andrew stood over my husband’s $2000 bass guitar, as it lay face down on the carpet. All he could muster was, “Uh oh, Mommy.” The puppy ran in circles around him. (What’s with this dog and the circle running?)

I couldn’t even have a few moments to take care of my business without someone getting into trouble. Thank God that the bass had been resting in an upright stand on the carpeted floor, or else that could have potentially been a disaster that could have ended in divorce court.  (Why weren’t you watching him? Do you know how much that thing is worth? Yada yada yada.)

Luckily, dad wasn’t home at the time and wouldn’t be finding out about that little incident until he reads this.

Lesson learned: Don’t leave a puppy, a toddler, and a pre-schooler alone in the room with anything you value. It is not a good idea, no matter how badly you have to pee.

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